{"id":281,"date":"2023-04-23T01:17:49","date_gmt":"2023-04-22T19:47:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\/blog\/stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life\/"},"modified":"2023-04-23T01:17:49","modified_gmt":"2023-04-22T19:47:49","slug":"stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\/blog\/stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Stepping Back in a Perfectly Imperfect Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> [ad_1]<br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">A year has come and gone (almost).<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Yet the sexual tension I experienced was still prominent. This time on my turf.\u00a0<strong>The wisps of grey in his hair were the only difference. An indication that time passes all of us by.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">My body still craved his touch, his lips, his throbbing cock. My curiosity still piqued.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Still, after a year, my vagina had a heartbeat\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">But it was natural. My body still knew how to respond. My vagina became wetter by the second\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Everything from how he kissed me to tasting me, although not as hyped as I thought I would be. Probably would have been better with his dick thrusting inside of me\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\"><strong>Reminding me why he was my favorite; he was attentive and knew how to please.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">But too much time went by\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I hate him\u2026 not really\u2026 I tend not to allow myself to get emotionally attached, and I have been really good at it my whole adult life \u2026. Until I met him, that was over a year ago. I thought I had closed that chapter, although those feelings haven\u2019t resurfaced, or maybe they never faded\u2026 Who knows? Obviously, he paid attention to what was going on in my life, but communication prior was dry. I never really knew if he was reading my texts because he ignored me. I don\u2019t know why I still reached out\u2026.should have just walked away like I do to everyone else and cut off communication. But, instead, I did what guys from the revolving door are doing to me, keeping him on the back burner\u2026 It\u2019s stupid\u2026<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide size-large eplus-wrapper\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/photo_2022-11-04_11-29-25.jpg\" data-wpel-link=\"internal\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"771\" height=\"1024\" src=\"\" data-spai=\"1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-46251\"\/><noscript data-spai=\"1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"771\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/photo_2022-11-04_11-29-25-771x1024.jpg\" data-spai-egr=\"1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-46251\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/photo_2022-11-04_11-29-25-771x1024.jpg 771w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/photo_2022-11-04_11-29-25-771x1024.jpg 226w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/photo_2022-11-04_11-29-25-771x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/photo_2022-11-04_11-29-25-771x1024.jpg 964w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 771px) 100vw, 771px\"\/><\/noscript><\/a><\/figure>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\"><strong>Here\u2019s the thing if people want you in their lives, they put you there with no excuses.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">The only reason I carried on was that I never knew how he felt; his actions said one thing, but he was confusing, and I had no time for uncertainty. Not going to lie, though; I hated myself for catching feelings; he made me feel safe, a term I have never used, not thought about before. So, in all transparency, I felt comfortable walking into his house on our first meeting.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">It wasn\u2019t just about the sex with him; although satisfying, it was a different dynamic, and it freaked me out that I let my guard down and let him get the best of me. I know we have a good foundation, or we did\u2026 I enjoyed our time together; I really wanted some normalcy with him\u2026 And just like that, we became strangers again\u2026. in all honesty, these other guys were my toxic way to try to get over him. He ignited something in me, and honestly, it wasn\u2019t just how wet he made me\u2026. it was different. I regret the way I acted too. I pushed as well. And the texts didn\u2019t help, texting is the worst way of communicating, and that\u2019s what went wrong. But<strong>\u00a0that was a year ago, and so much has changed with me\u2026I don\u2019t dwell. I keep moving forward.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\"><em>I have a new lease on life\u2026 I\u2019m a different person.<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Boundaries are being established.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">So much time passed\u2026 But surprisingly, we can still converse and talk about general life stuff, kissing each other goodbye as this time would probably be the last. It should never have taken a year to reconnect, and I\u2019ll be damned if that ever happens again.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">While we are moving in different directions, we are seeking something similar, both signing up to try a new dating site\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Yet both are still swiping on each other. I don\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">He was the one I craved body and soul, but our chapter can\u2019t be rewritten, and one I probably won\u2019t finish.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide size-full eplus-wrapper\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-4560118.jpeg\" data-wpel-link=\"internal\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1384\" height=\"924\" src=\"\" data-spai=\"1\" alt=\"couple sitting on the floor and hugging\" class=\"wp-image-46252\"\/><noscript data-spai=\"1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1384\" height=\"924\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-4560118.jpeg\" data-spai-egr=\"1\" alt=\"couple sitting on the floor and hugging\" class=\"wp-image-46252\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-4560118.jpeg 1384w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-4560118.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-4560118.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-4560118.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-4560118.jpeg 1385w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1384px) 100vw, 1384px\"\/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption>Photo by Leeloo Thefirst on <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/photo\/couple-sitting-on-the-floor-and-hugging-4560118\/\" data-wpel-link=\"external\">Pexels.com<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">As I will no longer be reaching out\u2026 What\u2019s the point? He never responds anyway\u2026 Ghosting is the worst\u2026.that and the breadcrumbing that leads up to it. I don\u2019t deserve it. It\u2019s douchey. I deserve way better.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I wasn\u2019t quite sure how I would feel seeing him again. He just made me realize I can\u2019t do hookups anymore. And I still don\u2019t know why I felt like that\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">If he wanted to, he would call; if he wanted to, he would hang out\u2026\u00a0<strong>Effort and consistency turn me on more than sexual pleasure.\u00a0<\/strong>I\u2019m getting older. Hookups are for teenagers; there\u2019s a whole world out there to explore more than just the bedroom; I want to get out and do more\u2026 Have fun and live life!! So here\u2019s where I am at\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">You wonder why I have trust issues.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Dating sites open up a realm. A multi-purpose way to stay home in jammies and talk to multiple people at once.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Never knowing anyone\u2019s true intentions, only proving we are disposable because there are always options, Good morning texts from multiple men, to chit chat during the day. Hard to keep up, hard to navigate, and more challenging to weed out.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Texting is super impersonal. Also, I tend not to be so PG-rated, and that\u2019s my downfall, which some unintentionally turn to sexting. Which again is not fulfilling.\u00a0<strong>Why are we settling for minimal these days?\u00a0<\/strong>No more will I go to or have anyone over unless we have met somewhere prior, unless the effort to date me exists.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Promising you are the only one that they are talking to. I\u2019m far from naive and have other options myself, and until I meet the one, I will continue to date\u2026because you never know.\u00a0<strong>But I\u2019m not looking for the next best thing; I\u2019m looking for what\u2019s best for me.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I can\u2019t do relationships.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Yet a few have been consistently asking me out, but I\u2019m so skeptical, to say the least.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Proper\u2026what does that look like?. Not all men have ill intentions. But again guess I won\u2019t know till I get back out there and actually try. Guys are not asking me to come over but want to do things in a public setting\u2026 So let\u2019s start there.. and get out of my not-so-comfort zone.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide size-full eplus-wrapper\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-3184435.jpeg\" data-wpel-link=\"internal\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"868\" height=\"1300\" src=\"\" data-spai=\"1\" alt=\"people holding their phones\" class=\"wp-image-46253\"\/><noscript data-spai=\"1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"868\" height=\"1300\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-3184435.jpeg\" data-spai-egr=\"1\" alt=\"people holding their phones\" class=\"wp-image-46253\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-3184435.jpeg 868w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-3184435.jpeg 200w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-3184435.jpeg 684w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-3184435.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 868px) 100vw, 868px\"\/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption>Photo by fauxels on <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/photo\/people-holding-their-phones-3184435\/\" data-wpel-link=\"external\">Pexels.com<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Guys are blowing up my phone.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I\u2019m not built for multiple people or this online bullshit.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I can\u2019t foster men anymore.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Like people foster animals until they find their forever homes or take back their exes.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I am \ud83d\udcaf% available.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Not hung up on any ex. They are exes for a reason and really should be called why\u2019s.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Why the hell did I ever date you?<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">But if the men from my past resurface, it wasn\u2019t me that was the problem all along.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I was distributing my energy to the wrong guys. A couple were still friends, but without the benefits; they realized that having me as a friend was better than losing me altogether, That they genuinely cared. ( Also, they both live at a distance, and we are better as friends, my choice, anyway) We frequently talk daily about everything. We meet people for a reason, season, or lifetime. Some are meant to stay in our lives, just under different circumstances.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">But the only way to get anywhere is to play this game.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">And hope the next guy who hits me up has his shit together, which texting lasts a week, or so then their true colors come out, or I get bored.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Eye contact, touch, smiles\u2026 that\u2019s what I want, not empty words on a screen.\u00a0<strong>But there is a whole world out there beyond our screens, one that existed way before technology was a thing\u2026<\/strong>So much more I want to do than waste my time staring at a screen. But, a small-town girl still lives deep inside me, seeking adventure and trying new things.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Deep conversation.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">This is just a blip in a new chapter\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">A new phase\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Old haunts are resurfacing\u2026<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide size-full eplus-wrapper\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-764880.jpeg\" data-wpel-link=\"internal\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1385\" height=\"924\" src=\"\" data-spai=\"1\" alt=\"man walking on floor\" class=\"wp-image-46254\"\/><noscript data-spai=\"1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1385\" height=\"924\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-764880.jpeg\" data-spai-egr=\"1\" alt=\"man walking on floor\" class=\"wp-image-46254\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-764880.jpeg 1385w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-764880.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-764880.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-764880.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1385px) 100vw, 1385px\"\/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption>Photo by Bob  Price on <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/photo\/man-walking-on-floor-764880\/\" data-wpel-link=\"external\">Pexels.com<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Still, my desire for something substantial and constant continues \u2026..<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I haven\u2019t lived with anyone in 19 years other than my daughter\u2026 I always had this rule that no one was to sleep over, especially with my daughter at home, never introducing her to random men, as I knew it was a faze and wouldn\u2019t last.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Guess I never really thought about it before; it\u2019s always been her and I. Now baby. My little family has grown. By now, I thought I would be maintaining that consistency and effort.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">By now, I never imagined still trying to conquer this life solo at this point of life now being an empty nester.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">My quest to find a man who exceeds my expectations and wants more than a romp in the sack leaves me feeling defeated at times. Show me substance; give me time. Enlighten my senses. Looking for my last swipe right<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I want a healthy balance in my life.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I am still going down the rabbit hole.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Still attempting to fill this void with sex.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Still chasing temporary pleasure.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">My days of dropping my pants only to be disappointed, leaving them craving more and me dodging their texts need to end!!\u00a0<em>Fun<\/em>\u00a0is the word that most accurately describes me, I\u2019m told.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I crave intimacy, a best friend. Someone who I can be myself, make me laugh and smile and make me a better version of myself, not bring out the worst in me and vice versa.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">One who doesn\u2019t make me overthink.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">If you, like me, find yourself drawn to all different kinds of people, that\u2019s totally OK. Join the club. It doesn\u2019t mean there\u2019s something wrong with your taste; it just means you look at people as a whole. There are more than just a few qualities that attract you to someone. Lovely eyes and lips don\u2019t hurt, though.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">My friends know my track record with men has not been ideal. However, this past year I have been putting myself back out there. It\u2019s been challenging to say the least.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">From relationships, situationships, FWB, and breadcrumbing to ghosting.<strong>\u00a0I have no problem getting laid. Sex is easy to get. It\u2019s the other things that I am struggling to obtain. And at the end of the day, I\u2019m still lying in my bed alone.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">So I met this guy\u2026\u2026 never mind\u2026Sometimes I need to figure out the point of telling my friends, as I only end up swiping again. I hate even muttering his name, knowing it\u2019s a situationship at best.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Guys haven\u2019t shown me any potential; some start off great\u2026.then comes the breadcrumbing, then ghosting to popping back in my texts with a\u00a0<em>wyd<\/em>\u00a0or\u00a0<em>s\u2019up<\/em>\u00a0like no time has passed\u2026.always craving more but showing no substance want a romp in the sack\u2026<em>.if you saw me naked that\u2019s a different dynamic. If you know what I taste like<\/em>.. wanting to maintain some connection and leaving me on the back burner, sorta speak because losing me completely would suck\u2026so I\u2019ve been told many times. Complaining how their dating life sucks and whatever excuse spews from their mouths\u2026 But always curious as to what I\u2019m up to \u2026 Still sliding into my Dm\u2019s, hoping for another chance to slide into me\u2026.because the sex with others didn\u2019t add up, and there is something about me they can\u2019t leave alone\u2026 My energy, my passion, ..whatever\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">My urge for something more substantial rather than casual sex has also changed.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Wanting to find that Perfectly Imperfect balance between relaxation and fun, with mind-blowing consistent sex. I don\u2019t have a type. It\u2019s something in or about that person that I am drawn to.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Maybe I\u2019m a different breed. My friends think so.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">The fact that I have zero fucks left is concerning. Or how I can move on so effortlessly.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">In a Perfectly Imperfect world, Ideally, I want to share my life with someone and be happy and actually work on it, where feelings are reciprocated. Where we can see each other grow, and I will fall deeper into intense feelings that make us want to continue and try harder.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Maybe these men couldn\u2019t handle a dominant, strong, independent female.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\"><strong>I am a guarded girl, a hyper-independent sort, so to speak; if I let you in, it\u2019s not because I need you to complete me. It\u2019s that I found something I want to invest my time into. Need and want are two different aspects.<\/strong>\u00a0My sex drive remains high. I crave more than just sex, more than oral pleasure. That balance of exploring sexually and trying other things. Someone who allows my playful side but can put up with my independent, sarcastic, feisty energy. Someone who works around my schedule. And totally understands. Someone more than just casual. Someone stable. With no indecisiveness and no second-guessing. Someone who isn\u2019t intimidated by me. Someone who can actually dominate me for a change.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I like being spontaneous. Someone to grab me and do what he pleases\u2026\u00a0<strong>Someone who can keep me cumming and gives me a reason to stay<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">A guy who takes the initiative is easy to talk to and grow together. But, the truth is, I have been disappointed by men, which feels like a non-stop ride. And not the good kind.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I don\u2019t know what I want anymore\u201d seems to be a popular response. It\u2019s like men have some fucken playbook when it comes to being unable to handle other stresses in their lives. They all revert to indecisiveness when initially claiming they want to date or want a relationship. Other bullshit, \u201cI\u2019m not like other guys; give me a chance. I won\u2019t hurt you\u201d.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">That or avoiding feelings altogether. By far, the initial talking stages are the best in whatever scenario plays out. That conversation makes you smile at your phone and anticipate the next one.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I am still consistent in what I want.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I have used this expression before on many occasions \u201cIt\u2019s<strong>\u00a0like watering a dead plant and hoping for a different outcome.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">So why am I still consumed by this toxicity?<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\"><strong>I don\u2019t know what good is supposed to look like.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Maybe I\u2019ve convinced myself that I\u2019m not capable of a relationship. Perhaps I\u2019m fuckable but not dateable, fun; but for some, not easy to handle, misunderstood; hard shell but a very caring heart.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Other than loving family or friends, but not have that intense connection, one that keeps me grounded.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\"><strong>Granted, I am a little rough around the edges, I am a bit jaded, and my optimism is hanging by a thread.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">And once gained, I downloaded yet another dating app\u2026 This time not settling for just a hookup.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">But woke up to over a dozen men in my Dm\u2019s.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I\u2019m letting go of what no longer suits me.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I will remain single until someone proves to me that they are worth changing my status for.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">That they put in the effort to see me.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">When you meet the right guy, you\u2019ll know it. That\u2019s what we\u2019ve always been told.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Wouldn\u2019t it be great if we could avoid heartbreak, bad relationships, and uncertainty because we\u2019d automatically know? But, unfortunately, sometimes we do but don\u2019t pay attention, something else distracting us (maybe his penis size or how amazing of a kisser he is) that we tend not to read more into him and ignore the red flags.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\"><strong>Sometimes, it\u2019s not all so cut and dry. It isn\u2019t clear whether the guy you meet will be forever. What if your feelings just haven\u2019t gotten there yet? What if you dump this guy and end up regretting it? Sometimes you need to spend more time. Invest a little more. Sometimes it\u2019s not instant.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">A relationship based on sex and one based on every other dynamic are totally different; one with both is ideal.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">The kind of guy who wants substance should be able to see you at your worst.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">A guy here, for now, can barely be bothered with a text or is breadcrumbing you.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">You want to be with a man who thinks of you the minute he wakes up. Who never leaves you guessing or doubting his intentions. A guy who doesn\u2019t only call you when he is drunk but texts to check in. A guy who is upfront about his feelings.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">A true sign of a lasting relationship isn\u2019t a lack of arguments; it\u2019s knowing how to resolve those inevitable ones.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Mr. Right Now has one foot out the door, still swiping right, still keeping you at a distance.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Mr. Right takes the initiative and makes future plans to spend time with you. Mr. Right Now keeps his options open. While Mr. Right will make you a priority. Sharing even the littlest moments.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Open communication and open hearts, not just a romp in the sack. Mr. Right won\u2019t bring up other women; he only has eyes for you; he won\u2019t compare you to his exes. Mr. Right Now won\u2019t care if you walk away; he already has someone else on standby.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">The difference between a failing relationship and your forever relationship is how you handle conflict together, so I have been told anyway.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I am far from a relationship expert, but I know deep down that my previous relationships didn\u2019t pan out because my heart knew they weren\u2019t the ones. However, my forever is still out there.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">My heart will know when it\u2019s true.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\"><strong>I caught feelings once last year, and I\u2019m sure I have it in me again\u2026 If these men can get past this wall.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Life gets busy. It\u2019s about creating balance. Hold nothing back.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Go all in.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">\u00a0I\u2019ve been avoiding hookups\u2026 Making excuses and find myself home alone most nights by choice because\u00a0<em>being alone is better than being disappointed<\/em>. I\u2019ve always wanted more but settled for less. Spending time with someone, I can be comfortable with\u2026 Someone who sparks something inside of me; in this day and age, why is it so hard to maintain connections? Looking for my last swipe right. Looking to complement someone\u2019s life, not complicate it.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I don\u2019t know if I have talking stages in me anymore. Texting is the worst. Words get misconstrued, and sometimes a simple text can fuck up a good thing. But, unfortunately, what usually starts with a text ends with one\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">This next chapter will be my most challenging to write yet\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">The next guy interested in getting to know me needs to write a 500-word essay on why they won\u2019t waste my time\u2026..<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">We do not mind readers\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\"><strong>No longer will I listen to my vagina, but fuck, she is growling.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">To the men still trying to shoot me breadcrumbs, you had me\u2026 Don\u2019t tell me how amazing I am\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Guessing you should have thought about it before you let me walk away\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Do I have options\u2026 Yep\u2026<strong>this time I am being selective about who gets what from me\u2026<\/strong>\u00a0I\u2019m not holding on to memories\u2026 You want me a part of your life, make an effort, put me in it\u2026\u00a0<strong>You want to be in the next chapter and prove to me it\u2019s worth writing\u2026 I\u2019m done with cameo appearances; this story needs a lead character and a fantastic plot.<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide size-full eplus-wrapper\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-247195.jpeg\" data-wpel-link=\"internal\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1386\" height=\"924\" src=\"\" data-spai=\"1\" alt=\"woman looking at sunset\" class=\"wp-image-46255\"\/><noscript data-spai=\"1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1386\" height=\"924\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-247195.jpeg\" data-spai-egr=\"1\" alt=\"woman looking at sunset\" class=\"wp-image-46255\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-247195.jpeg 1386w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-247195.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-247195.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-photo-247195.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1386px) 100vw, 1386px\"\/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption>Photo by Pixabay on <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/photo\/woman-looking-at-sunset-247195\/\" data-wpel-link=\"external\">Pexels.com<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><!-- MOLONGUI AUTHORSHIP PLUGIN 4.6.16 --><br \/>\n<!-- https:\/\/www.molongui.com\/authorship\/ --><\/p>\n<div id=\"mab-2085284041\" class=\"m-a-box \" data-plugin-release=\"4.6.16\" data-plugin-version=\"pro\" data-box-layout=\"stacked\" data-box-position=\"below\" data-multiauthor=\"false\" data-author-id=\"743\" data-author-type=\"user\" data-author-archived=\"\">\n<div class=\"m-a-box-container\">\n<div class=\"m-a-box-tab m-a-box-content m-a-box-profile\" data-profile-layout=\"layout-4\" data-author-ref=\"user-743\" itemscope=\"\" itemid=\"https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/author\/pacsac1976gmail-com\/\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/Person\">\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-content-top --><\/p>\n<div class=\"m-a-box-content-middle\">\n<p>    <!-- Author picture --><\/p>\n<div class=\"m-a-box-item m-a-box-avatar\" data-source=\"local\">\n\t\t                <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"m-a-box-avatar-url\" href=\"https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/author\/pacsac1976gmail-com\/\" data-wpel-link=\"internal\"><br \/>\n                    <img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"\" data-spai=\"1\" class=\"attachment-150x150 size-150x150\" alt=\"\" decoding=\"async\" itemprop=\"image\"\/><noscript data-spai=\"1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Screenshot_20210430-233303-150x150.png\" data-spai-egr=\"1\" class=\"attachment-150x150 size-150x150\" alt=\"\" decoding=\"async\" itemprop=\"image\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Screenshot_20210430-233303-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Screenshot_20210430-233303-150x150.png 70w, https:\/\/cdn.shortpixel.ai\/spai\/q_lossy+ret_img+to_webp\/https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Screenshot_20210430-233303-150x150.png 100w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\"\/><\/noscript>                <\/a>\n                \t<\/div>\n<p>    <!-- Author social --><\/p>\n<p>    <!-- Author data --><\/p>\n<div class=\"m-a-box-item m-a-box-data\">\n<p>        <!-- Author name --><\/p>\n<p>        <!-- Author metadata --><\/p>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-meta --><\/p>\n<p>        <!-- Author bio --><\/p>\n<div class=\"m-a-box-bio\" itemprop=\"description\">\n<p>Pacsac age 45 \ud83c\udde8\ud83c\udde6<br \/>Perfectly Imperfect Series<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-data --><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-content-middle --><\/p>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-content-bottom -->        <\/div>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-profile --><\/p>\n<p>        <!-- End of .m-a-box-related --><\/p><\/div>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-container --><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box --><\/div>\n<p>[ad_2]<br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/self\/stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life.php\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[ad_1] A year has come and gone (almost). Yet the sexual tension I experienced was still prominent. This time on my turf.\u00a0The wisps of grey in his hair were the only difference. An indication that time passes all of us by. My body still craved his touch, his lips, his throbbing cock. My curiosity still [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":282,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-281","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adult-dating"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.5 (Yoast SEO v27.7) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Stepping Back in a Perfectly Imperfect Life - Adult Guest Blog Posting Website for Edinburgh - Edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A year has come and gone (almost). Yet the sexual tension I experienced was still prominent. This time on my turf.\u00a0The wisps of grey in his hair were the\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\/blog\/stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Stepping Back in a Perfectly Imperfect Life - Adult Guest Blog Posting Website for Edinburgh - Edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A year has come and gone (almost). Yet the sexual tension I experienced was still prominent. This time on my turf.\u00a0The wisps of grey in his hair were the\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\/blog\/stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Adult Guest Blog Posting Website for Edinburgh - Edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-04-22T19:47:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/2022-11-03_20-01-53-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1227\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"924\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Editorial Team\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Editorial Team\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"16 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\\\/blog\\\/stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\\\/blog\\\/stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Editorial Team\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/abf2dbed4b32286fd142840e323fcfaf\"},\"headline\":\"Stepping Back in a Perfectly Imperfect Life\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-04-22T19:47:49+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\\\/blog\\\/stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":3304,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\\\/blog\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\\\/blog\\\/stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/04\\\/2022-11-03_20-01-53-scaled.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Adult Dating\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\\\/blog\\\/stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\\\/blog\\\/stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life\\\/\",\"name\":\"Stepping Back in a Perfectly Imperfect Life - Adult Guest Blog Posting Website for Edinburgh - Edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\\\/blog\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\\\/blog\\\/stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\\\/blog\\\/stepping-back-in-a-perfectly-imperfect-life\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/edinburghescortsgirls.co.uk\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/04\\\/2022-11-03_20-01-53-scaled.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-04-22T19:47:49+00:00\",\"description\":\"A year has come and gone (almost). 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